MY WEIRD RELATIONSHIP WITH WRITING AND HOW I’M CHOOSING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH THE CRAFT AGAIN.
In a time of AI, writer’s strikes, and cheapskates not paying you your rate, it’s hard to enjoy the craft of writing. Now more than ever it is important to return to your “WHY?.”
Men’s mental health month, and Pride Month, all happen to fall in the same month, June. And to a lot of many of my readers’ surprise, I did not write any kind content around either two. Though allyship and mental health advocacy remain very important to me.
“Why’s that?” is the question I’ve been getting a lot when I tell people I’m not writing much these days…and the answer, to be honest, is that I am currently in a very weird relationship with writing. I know I’m a writer even when I’m not producing any work, but the joy of thinking about writing and following through by sitting down at my desk and typing away at my keyboard has not been there for a while.
Sure, I’m big on inspiration finding me working. My philosophy isn’t to only write when you’re in the mood but to write without ceasing even when you aren’t particularly inspired to create a constant flow of ideas… this space I’m currently in is something else entirely. It’s not simply a lack of motivation, It’s me not knowing my place in the world as a writer.
Questions of where my voice fits in the world’s conversations right now are what’s bothering me. And a lot of it has to do with the state of the world and the writing industry. To be more specific, the state of being a writer in an age of A.I.
If you surf the internet, you’ll come across 1000s of articles on AI, but this particular piece isn’t about AI in the same way most content around AI is. This is an account of how I’m personally affected by AI.
I remember last year, sitting in a room with a bunch of people over a few glasses of wine, talking about how the way we do work is going to be forever changed by the ascendency of AI. And I remember how vehemently I disagreed with a lot of opinions flying around the room that for me felt like they came from a place of privilege from people who are neither creatives nor whose jobs were not on the line in the short term with the introduction of AI.
“If you’re afraid of losing your job to AI, maybe you’re just not good enough,” One person said. Fortunately, my facial expressions tend to be stoic, which meant I didn’t give away the fact that I found that take to be profoundly stupid. Had my true feelings been visible on my face, the energy in that room would have shifted drastically for the worst. But, I kept my cool. And listened to these bad takes as they kept coming.
Sentiments like “…maybe you’re just not good enough,” feel like someone calling you lazy for staying in bed when you’re going through a depressive episode. They lack empathy and come from a place of privilege. Nobody chooses to have an imbalance of chemicals in their brain that leads to depression. In the same way, nobody chooses to lose their livelihood to A.I. They’re so many brilliant and talented writers out in the world that will lose jobs/opportunities due to A.I. In my eyes, I see this as a greedy thing and less of a lack of talent.
Truth is, people will do anything to save a buck. Even if it means paying an AI assistant for AI-generated content over hiring talented and qualified individuals to create content with actual human emotion behind it. Believe it or not, that human emotion is what adds that extra Oomph to all the art we enjoy and resonate with. Whether it’s the grammatical errors or the heart, there’s something that comes from a human that feels different from what AI aids generate. Heck AI tools still require human input to function.
As one WGA striking writer put it on their placard: “Chat GPT doesn’t have childhood trauma.” That was, for me, one of the best things I read from the picketing writers currently striking across the USA. While tools like Chat GPT are great and revolutionary resources that can be very helpful, they can never truly replicate or replace the human element of creativity. They can’t replicate the passion, pain, euphoria, and trauma that all add zest to art to make it feel raw and authentic.
So while that person who thinks “You’re not good enough” for feeling apprehensive about AI coming for your job continues to enjoy a stable salary in a job that isn’t immediately threatened by AI. (because let’s face it, shortly all our jobs will be threatened by AI in some capacity) people like myself, who work in the gig economy, are already feeling the effects of the surge of A.I when people and corporations go the cheaper route by paying for AI resources, instead of hiring humans to do the work.
Now more than ever are writers forced to find other ways to make ends meet than before. It’s not like life was dandy prior, writing is a very difficult career path to make a living off of, especially here in Africa, but that’s not to say it’s an impossible path. I’ve been making a living off my writing since 2018. And even though I’ve had to deal with a lot of cheapskates, a lot of worrying about where my next paycheck will come from, having other sources of income to supplement as a freelancer, and seeing jobs I hoped for not fall through, I’m still a testament that it is possible to make an income off your work as a writer. It just requires a whole lot of consistency, authenticity, creativity, networking, and tenacity to stand a real chance to make it work.
But in today’s climate, it’s x10 more difficult than before to have a career in writing. Our work, it seems, has become inconsequential. And this feeling of uncertainty of whether or not you’ll get work next week or even have your work valued has left a sour taste in my mouth. It has left me feeling hollow and just not caring about writing. It has put me in a weird space where my pride as a writer is threatened. And so instead of focusing on what I have to gain by writing professionally, I’m choosing to focus on what I have to gain on a personal level. While I still do need to write professionally to survive, I’m going back to my WHY: creativity and self-development.
There’s something unparalleled about creating for yourself. It’s in these moments, that I believe we create our best work and fall in love with the craft and the process. When I write, I’m healed by my own words and I get to explore parts of myself I don’t usually explore doing anything else. Writing helps me grow as an artist and as a person. And it helps shape my worldview as I learn so many things through the process.
There’s no escaping it, AI is here to stay. And we as writers and artists of every kind will have to compete with it, sadly. But that doesn’t mean that we should let it define us or consume the majority of our thoughts.
Therefore, in an AI-crazed world, I’m choosing to focus on falling in love with the craft of writing for me. I want to create content that I enjoy, content that I hope the world will need and enjoy too. So that even if AI kicks me out, my voice will always remain written on some pages somewhere or some deep corner of the internet. For that reason, I’m also turning down gigs from people who don’t value the craft of writing by choosing not to respect my rate. I’d much rather create content that brings my soul joy than accept less from people who’ll stand to benefit more from my work and give the most unrealistic demands in the process.
