BURNT TOAST THEORY AND THE POWER OF PIVOTING.
How Setbacks and Disappointments Can Sometimes Be Blessings in Disguise That Can Lead Us to Something Better.
We’ve all been sad that something didn’t go our way — disappointment is a feeling we’ve all experienced in some form or another in our relationships with friends, lovers, and family, in our academics, or in our careers; disappointment is something best to be experienced early on in life, that way it’s never seen as a personal attack that we have to suffer, but a ubiquitous part of all our lives that we have to make peace with.
While disappointment lives with us, so does hope. Humans, we are full of hope. Some can argue that hope gives life meaning, as having something to look forward to whether it’s a piece of art, a meal at the end of the day, a phone call with a lover, a business deal going well, or a dream being realized keeps us going…it’s that drive for something that gives us optimism. Hope gives us a reason - it gives us a purpose.
Our favorite success stories usually have setbacks and failure somewhere in the middle because, in the end, the big punchline is that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
Think about Charlize Theron, one of the biggest stars in Hollywood today. At nearly age 19, Charlize was living in L.A (Los Angeles) barely scraping by - living in a pay-by-the-hour hotel with barely enough food. One day while at the bank trying to cash her last check, the bank told Charlize they wouldn’t accept the check because it was from a different state. This was disheartening for Charlize to hear, cause not cashing that check meant she’d have no food and nowhere to spend the night. Despite her best efforts pleading and begging, the bank said no. Until a gentleman who worked at the bank kindly stepped in and helped resolve the issue.
After filling out a ton of paperwork, Charlize was finally able to cash her check. On her way out of the bank, the gentleman who helped her, John Crosby, approached her and revealed that he was a talent agent and offered her representation. This changed the trajectory of Charlize’s career.
Or Kharby Lame, the biggest TikTok star alive today. The Senegalese-born former Italian factory worker who lost his job in 2020 at the start of the Covid-19 pandemic pivoted to making videos on his phone on the Chinese-founded app to help keep himself occupied despite urgings from his family that he get a “real” job. Kharby stuck it through and continued to make videos until he eventually grew a fanbase. His silent mockery of overcomplicated life hack videos would propel him to superstardom. Today, the 24-year-old’s net worth is estimated at $16 million.
It’s only natural for us to gravitate towards such stories where something good comes from a setback or something accidental happening - as these are the stories we want for ourselves; stories where our tribulations turn into triumphs. Our mishaps into something happening. Stories that have rejection or failure allow us to place ourselves at the scene - because rejection and disappointments are things we can all relate to to some degree.
This is where the Burnt Toast Theory comes in. Coined by TikToker Ingrid (@Offthe_grid) the Burnt Toast Theory suggests “-if you burn your toast before work and it adds five to 10 minutes to your trip, it’s actually saving you from something catastrophic. Maybe it’s saving you from a car accident, maybe it’s saving you from running into someone who you don’t want to run into,”
The whole takeaway from this theory is that setbacks or inconveniences in our lives are either saving us from a worse fate or pushing us in the direction that we need to go that we might not otherwise have taken had the setback not occurred. That’s what makes this theory so compelling.
“-the idea that inconveniences in our lives, or when something releases us in the universe, it’s either saving us from something more detrimental or pushing us in the direction that we need to go in. Of course, you won’t know what the burnt toast saved you from, but that’s not the point; the point is to allow you to accept things in life that are completely out of your control.” Explains Ingrid.
The Burnt Toast Theory can also serve as a reminder that when you burn your toast, you can always put more bread in the toaster and start again. Something I learned when my first business failed early last year. At the time, it was a crushing blow that haunted me for a while. Only months down the line did I realize that I needed to jump ship and pivot to what is now not only the thing that makes my heart sing but an incredibly lucrative pursuit that has afforded me many successes and an immense amount of growth as a storyteller.
Had my business succeeded, I would not have been forced out of my comfort zone, a move that led me to head in the direction I now believe I was always meant to head in but was too obstinate and scared to pursue sooner due to imposter syndrome and not fully understanding my purpose. Instead, I would have remained stuck in something incredibly repetitive with very little room for growth. It was only when I decided to shut down my operations in order to not lose any more money that my call to adventure presented itself.
In fictional storytelling, there’s usually a pattern that the main character (aka the hero) follows on their path to “success” or enlightenment. This pattern is what American writer Joseph Campell coined as The Heroe’s Journey. But much like fiction, a lot of the themes and patterns in The Hero’s Journey can be metaphorically applied to our own lives.
The Hero's Journey has 12 steps. And the first one is the call to adventure. The call to adventure is usually the part in the story where the hero (or you) is faced with an event, conflict, problem, or challenge that propels the hero to make a decision that will help them put in the work that will lead them to their purpose or greatest desire.
Note that your call to adventure doesn’t always need to be something devasting, like losing a job or having your business shut down. It could simply be a passion that’s gnawing at your heart day and night — consuming your every thought. The fact that something can ring so incessantly in one’s heart means that it deserves one’s attention.
The second step is the refusal of the call. This refusal happens for a myriad of reasons. A lot of the time, it’s due to the fear of the unknown — due to the uncertainty of what might await us on the other side if we choose to make a jump. But the truth is, if we don’t take chances (especially on ourselves), we’ll never really know. As scary as pivoting can be, It can also be life-transforming if we take the risk. But where there’s no risk, there’s no reward.
